Three years ago today, she entered our lives crying. The most beautiful cry I will ever hear and will never forget.
These days are sad. All the days grieving their presence in our lives are hard, but their birthdays are moments I really miss. The celebration of their life, a milestone shared with friends and family, birthday cakes and decorations, chocolate covered faces, etc. Each moment and memory we cannot have with her. I think about what she would look like right now and all of the "firsts" I didn't get to see, her first smile, giggle, attempt to crawl, her first steps, her first 1/2 a year birthday cake I buy all my kids.
We will celebrate her life today. She was here and even though it was for a short time, she lived and we loved her and created memories. I will get to see her again. I don't get to see her here on this earth but I will spend eternity with her.
We have a birthday cake for her and always buy balloons to write love notes on and release off into the heavens....
Happy Birthday to you my baby Grace. I miss you so much and ache for you daily.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
So my husband comes home last night and says "Hey, there is a little junk shop out on Trent that I drive by on my way home... it's got a bunch of old chairs sitting outside". WHAT?! Old chairs!
I happened to see on craigslist that morning that someone was selling a bunch of vintage goodies. I wanted to go sooo bad. "No", I told myself, the kids have to get their schoolwork done, the boys have tests, etc. I was good and didn't go. Andy knew I was bummed. I really wanted to dig through those piles she showed in her listing....
So, he comes home and tells me about the chairs. "Take a drive up there, it's only 20 minutes", he says. Oh, the temptation.... I was in the middle of making a diorama with my daughter. Again, I tried to be disciplined and continue on with the project at hand.
Maybe I'll go tomorrow. But, the thought of "old chairs sitting outside" haunted my thoughts. My son had popped out of his room and asked what we were chatting about. When he heard the word "junk", he said "Oh, I'll go with ya mom"!
That did it. We drove there. All the old chairs were indeed all lined up outside the little junk shop. My heart started racing... They were cute chairs, old wooden farm chairs, a rocker and some stools, but they were too perfect for me. They had been sanded and painted in pretty shades of pinks and whites.
I like more of the original patina. I want the age to show, the layers of paint that have worn off through the years. To me the chippy and worn paint, gouges in the wood and imperfections hold all the secrets of its life. That's what I fall in love with. It's story.
I left the chairs and went inside this cute little shop. Lots of pink and white colors. All these beautiful primitive and antique pieces of furniture all had perfect new coats on. I was a bit disappointed, but I continued to browse... I searched and searched for something old that still looked old. Then I saw it... All I could see at first was the top of it. It was sitting behind a picture that was leaned up against it. Oh, my... the best piece in this place and it was being used to prop up a picture?! I moved the picture aside, and there it was. The cutest little child's chair I had ever seen. I instantly fell in love. I grabbed it and prayed that I could afford it.
She was $20, a bit more than I like to spend on a chair, but I was not putting it down. My heart was happy.
We contined to browse the rest of the shop... looking past all the newly painted "stuff". I saw another old chair sitting alone in the corner. It too was a wonderful piece. You can tell it was handmade a very very long time ago. Fragile, worn, rickety, a bit of worn paint here and there. Not a chair to sit in, but to display and love. I really wanted it, but I turned away. I discovered while I was paying for my new little chair that the store was having a sale. So... I asked, is that old farm chair in the back room on sale too? It was, and came home with me as well :)
The cashier says, you like old chairs hah? "Like" does not describe my obsession with these little treasures, but "yes I do and very, very much so". :)
My new little chair currently sits on my dining room table, holding the salt/pepper and sugar bowl.
I'm glad I went. I came home with 2 very old and very loved chairs. I am deeply in love with the child's chair and it warms my heart each time I see it.